Is it OK to flirt in the sauna?

Is it OK to flirt in the sauna? In this article, I share my own experiences and views on the subject. Are public saunas good places for flirting or partner-seeking?

I have written about the German mixed saunas before in this blog. Mixed saunas are saunas in which women and men are together, naked. Many find this very strange and even unsafe. “Can women and men really take a sauna together without clothes?”.

Read more: German sauna culture

Well, I once read an article about a Finnish couple who had ended up making love in a public sauna. After reading the article, I thought mixed saunas are not a good idea in Finland. 

What do you think? 

Can we take a sauna with the opposite sex without any ulterior motives? 

Has anyone tried to flirt with you in the sauna? 

Is it OK to hit on someone in a sauna? 

I have a lot of experience with German mixed saunas, and I want to share some of them in this article. Please remember that these are my own experiences, yours might be completely different. Many things also depend on the situation and your own past experiences. 

I have already written some articles about sauna and nudity. For example, I have discussed different approaches to nudity and nakedness cultures. I also have listed some countries in which mixed saunas are common. 

Read more: Nudity in different cultures. 

My own experiences 

I have to say that I have never experienced any “serious” flirting/harassment attempts in a German sauna world. I have also never seen it happen to anyone else. But, just because I have not seen it, does not mean it does not happen. 

Is the sauna a good place to flirt? Or maybe even a place to look for a future partner? 

I really don’t think so. 

A public sauna is not the right place to look for a relationship or a one-night stand. I know that in Germany (and other countries) there are so-called erotic sauna clubs, where flirting is an integral part of the experience. I’ve never been to one, so I can’t say anything for sure. However, these are separate clubs, not ordinary public saunas. 

German sauna world

That being said, I have encountered some suspicious activity in a German sauna world. Or, one of them is more funny than disturbing.

The first one has happened a few times. This usually happens in the steam baths where you can do your own salt peeling. I have often received suggestions from men asking whether they could help me by rubbing the salt on my back. Or, they have asked me if I would be willing to rub the salt on their backs. 

Is this an innocent question or is there something else behind it? I cannot say. I refuse politely and it has never been a problem. No one has ever said anything negative or tried to continue the conversation. These experiences have been quite positive, they have usually just left me smiling. 

The second scenario was more uncomfortable. Once, I was in a sauna world and this man kept following me everywhere. Every time I moved, he moved. He followed me from sauna to sauna. Was this a coincidence or something else? I can’t say for certain, but this is the only time I started to really get freaked out. Fortunately, there was a women’s sauna area in this sauna world, where I escaped very quickly. 

Long gazes? Sure, I notice that some people look at me or others for a moment too long. Generally, however, there is nothing sexual about the looks you get in a sauna. It is quite normal that when someone arrives at the sauna, people glance at them and greet them. 

One time my male coworker asked me to come to the workplace sauna with him. While there’s nothing weird about the situation per se, I still didn’t feel comfortable. I had to refuse politely. The thought of sitting naked on the sauna benches so close to him, made me squirm. 

Online harassment 

I have encountered more unpleasant behaviour on the internet than in real-life situations. There are a few examples of this “Covid-era phenomenon”. When corona first closed the spas, saunas and sauna worlds, there was a surge of new, sauna-related discussion groups on Facebook. There are strict rules in every group and sexual harassment is strictly forbidden. 

Despite this, I have received my fair share of not-so-innocent messages. People have asked me for example: Can we go to the sauna together after the pandemic? Are you naked when you take a sauna? What can you do in the sauna? Can I shave b*lls in the sauna? And many other crazy things. 

So, I would say there is more harassment in the online world than in real world. Luckily, I have picked a few tips along the way. Firstly, you can’t influence the messages people send you. The only thing you can do is immediately block suspicious-looking messages. I get a lot of weird messages that I do not reply to, especially on Instagram. If I can see that the person has no real questions, I just delete the message. 

Secondly, if the message just says hello and nothing else, I recommend that you don’t reply. If, on the other hand, the message clearly asks something really related to the sauna, I answer them gladly.

It would be interesting to hear what kind of experiences you have had with “sauna flirting”? Has it ever happened to you? Do you agree with my thoughts? Let me know in the comments below! 

Love, Sauna-Kati